my life is not perfect. it's so far from perfect that the word 'perfect' should not be associated with my life. it's so, not perfect that 'imperfect' would be an upgraded word to describe my life. my life would be beyond shit.

but that doesn't bother me. at all. =)

cause i have adrian.
and rebecca
and leilei
and jackie
and charlie, nwong, matt, benny, ristov, wilson, mitchell, lawrence, vivien, james, aden

one thing i also know is.
i would not, in a thousand years, in 92364927439264 decades, grow up and become like my mum.
i mean, i love her and all.. but there's just this one thing. one thing that i hate about people. she breaks promises. she abuses your trust. she goes does something, says sorry and expects you to forgive her. you hold a grudge against her and she abuses the love you have of her.
like what the fuck mum. seriously.
aren't you meant to be the one who knows right from wrong?
aren't you like our role model? you know a superior figure whom we can look up to?
all you're teaching us is to lie and lie and lie. and promises arent worth keeping. and trust is there to be broken.
heh.
and why the fuck do i know what's wrong and what's right... i'm siiickkk.
let's go back to china, where daddy can make you all better again.
i think solitude has made you a lil... messed up in the head.
i know this is slack but you've been slacker.
and besides you make me sad. i'm pretty damn sad atm. but blogging is like ♥; giving me a little piece of sanity...
heh. i really do feel sorry for you, i mean... if you never gave birth to me or andy, you could be happily married with daddy. i wouldn't have this to worry about (cause i'd be dead .. wait not alive?) and you wouldn't need the burden of motherhood you always complain about..
yeh. i think i'm regretting my existence.
infact, i regret everything that has made me, me. i regret you ever giving birth to me on april 3rd 1996. i regret doing someshit in your tummy that has made me look like me.
why the fuck was i born?
and i don't really give a fuck if i die.
(omg touch wood! lol)
but ... it's sad cause i've already established relationships with other people. and these people are wonderful people. and i do not, regret them. at all.

so i go complaining, ranting, going in circles. but thats just how it works in my fucked up head. lol. profanity.

btw; i love my mum :)

abc